A Nightmare for Vexen

A Nightmare for Vexen
An Organization XIII Dialogue Play
by gttorres


At the Castle That Never Was…

Vexen: Of all the people I had to be partnered with, YOU were the one they chose!

Demyx: Hey, what's wrong with that?!?!?

Vexen: You're lazy, incompetent, and unreliable!!!

Demyx: Hey!!!!

Vexen: That, and I'm tired of being victimized by yours and Xigbar's hijinks!!

Demyx: But they're fun… Anyways, what are we doing today?  Is it somewhere new?  Or are we going to Castle Oblivion?  Oh!  Oh!  I know!  I know!  We're going to see a—

Vexen: (interrupting) You're helping me in the lab!

Demyx: … Oh.

Vexen: What did you think you were doing with me?  Obviously, the two of us together are on Saix's list of "Who Should NOT Be Sent Together On Missions With"!

Demyx: Seriously?? ?  Why???

Vexen: Because the last time the two of us were partnered for a mission, we ended up turning Atlantica into Antartica!!

Demyx:  That was your fault, man!!!  Don't be mad!!!

Vexen: And just WHOSE fault was it that made me do that in the first place???

Demyx:  Dude!!  That wasn't my fault!!  I'm petrified about sharks!!  I mean, this was shark was all….dududududududududududududu…

Vexen snaps his fingers.  in seconds, they both arrive at Vexen's Lab.

Demyx: dudududuh… What just happened?

Vexen: Alright, you twit, listen up!  I'm working on this machine over here and I need you to help me!

Demyx: Uh, sure….what do you want me to do?

Vexen: (sarcastically) The most important, critical, intimidating, serious, life-changing, and life-death task you will ever have to do in this lab.

Demyx: (nervous) What?

Vexen slams a broom in front of Demyx.

Vexen: (slowly in a pronounced voice) Sweep.  The.  Floor.

Demyx:  ???  Is this a joke????

Vexen: (puts the broom in Demyx's ahnds.)  Do it. Now!

Demyx: But—

Vexen: Go!!!

Demyx: Hmph! Fine!!!  

Vexen:  And DON'T touch anything!

Demyx: Ok!! Ok!!(he goes off to sweep)

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Demyx:  Can I take a break?!?!?!?!?

Vexen: (looking up from his machine)But you've only just begun!!!

Demyx: Dude!! Have you NOT ever swept a broom in your entire life????  Brooms make your hands sore from holding them!!!  And this is my sitar hand!!!!

Vexen:  Stop complaining, Demyx!! Sheesh!  You're worse than…never mind!

Demyx: What ???  Worse than what???

Vexen: Nothing!!  Mind your own business!!  (Turns back to resume work)

Demyx approaches Vexen from behind while he's not looking)

Demyx: C'mon!!  Tell me!!

Vexen turns around

Vexen: I said—OUCH!

(As he turns around, his elbow hits a lever that moves)

Demyx:  Whoops, sorry!

Vexen: Why….

(The machine Vexen is working on suddenly becomes operational)

Demyx: Uh….Vexen…(points to machine)  is THAT supposed to happen?

Vexen:  What do you mean?  (He turns around and sees what Demyx is talking about)

(The machine starts to light up and steam.  A red button starts to flash.  An a voice speaks from the machine)

Voice: New world selected.  Instant teleportation in 3 seconds.  Thank you and enjoy your incredibly short trip!

Vexen: Oh.

Demyx: Crud.

(A beam of light zaps out from Vexen's machine and causes Vexen and Demyx to disappear and they scream as they are teleported away.)

(One second later, the 2 Nobodies appear inside an unknown location with white walls and floors and a bunch of weird screens on the walls.)

Demyx: …..

Vexen: .Ngggg…Demyx, you klutz!!!

Demyx: Ssssssssorry!!!

Vexen: When we get back, I am begging Saix to give you another job today!!!  Now, then…

Demyx: Uh, Vexen, where are we?  

Vexen: I haven't the faintest idea!

Suddenly…

Voice: Sirs, hold it right there!

(Vexen and Demyx look and see that a lone figure pointing a gun-like abject at them)

Demyx: Aaaaaaa!!

Vexen: Demyx!  Don't panic!!  I'll figure something out!!

Unknown: Silence!!  Hands on your heads!!

Vexen: What???

(The gun points at the two of them and prepares to shoot)

Vexen and Demyx:  Aaaaaaahhh!!!  (put their hands on their heads)

Unknown: State your name, rank, and intention!!!!

Demyx: (quickly, in a panic) My name is Demyx, Rank IX of Organization XIII, and my intention is fun!  Please don't kill me!!!!!!!!

Vexen: Shut up!!!!!

Unknown: You are on unauthorized property.  Prepare to be obliterated.

Vexen: In that case, RUN DEMYX!!!!!!!!

(both start screaming in fright at the top of their lungs as the unknown figure starts firing at them)

Demyx: RUN!!!!   RUN AWAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

(More Screaming)

* * *

Vexen: AAAAGGGHHH!!!  Spare me!!!!

Luxord: Vexen, are you ok?????

(Vexen blinks and looks around him.  Seated next to him on a sofa are Zexion, and Xion.  Luxord is sitting on another sofa with a bowl of popcorn on his lap.)

Vexen: I don't get it…

Zexion: You fell asleep in the middle of the show.

Vexen: I did?

Luxord: Yes.  Were You really that bored by it?

Vexen: I…

Zexion: (shrugs) Remind me to give you something with caffeine the next time we watch British sci-fi!



The End